So what’s the plan?

After everything, I keep coming back to the same question:

What needs to change so this stops happening to other people?

Because that is the part I cannot shake.

I believe that anybody who is suffering, no matter who they are, their background, how much money they have, or what education they have, deserves access to the support and help they need.

Having experienced firsthand how hard that can be for chronic health and mental health issues and, and knowing it is happening to so many people out there, makes me incredibly sad.

And I do feel fortunate. Even though I have been through some very difficult things, I cannot ignore the fact that I do have privilege. I have had the means to keep searching for support and, eventually, to find it, when so many people do not.

I do feel guilty about that sometimes, actually quite a lot. Perhaps I plan to take on more responsibility than I should. But over the last few years, I have thought constantly about what needs to change.

How do we improve that first touch point when someone asks for help?
What is missing?
What should be there that isn’t?
What needs to be researched, built, funded, taught, regulated, and understood?

I keep coming back to these questions because I know how much unnecessary suffering happens when people are not listened to early enough, not understood properly, or not pointed in the right direction.

Because this cannot keep being as hard as it is.

There are already so many incredible people doing important work in these spaces. People are already making things better. People who have inspired me, taught me, and given me hope.

I do hope that somehow, one day, I can use my voice and my experiences to add to that in some meaningful way.

And how that looks has given me the biggest headache, but I think I finally have an idea that I am really excited about.

First, for this to work, I need to keep focusing on rebuilding my health and working with DPDR and trauma, and also work on my fear of public speaking, using my voice, and taking up space, this part I am not so thrilled about, sigh. I am (trying) to reframing it as a chance for me to take back the parts of myself that were once taken, still not thrilled.

If you’ve somehow read this and made it all the way through and might want to collaborate or have any ideas, I’d love to hear them. I have also dropped my phone 3 times this morning while writing this.